Some people would like to argue that I don’t have a racist bone in my body, and they’d be right. Turns out that my central nervous system is riddled with the antithesis of white guilt and a vicious sense of humor about all things racial. Doesn’t mean I hate anyone — just means I’m mean. With that in mind, I was in a bit of a mischievous mood and thought it might be fun to put together a list of reasons why Obama is my man (despite the fact that he’s not “the man”).
- Chrome spinners + hydraulics = a better Air Force One.
- National debt eliminated with food stamps.
- Bi-racial = bi-partisan?
- Five words: Al Sharpton, Secratary of State.
- Black Panthers + S1W > US Army.
- Kwanzaa = +1 paid day off.
- When he’s passionate about something, he sounds like The Rock.
- Will Smith ears are sexy.
- It’ll keep Fred Armisen working and in black face for 4-8 years.
- National anthem changed to theme from Good Times.
Let’s get this list as long as we can. What would you add?
11. Three words: Obama Osama Yomomma
12. Lunch at the White House: Fried Chicken, Grape soda and watermelon
13. Little Black Sambo put back into children’s libraries
14. Just to hear him tell Kim Jun Il that if “he doan show no ’spect, America might have to buss a cap in his ass”
15. If elected, Mississippi will almost certainly succeed from the Union, followed by Georgia and Alabama… which will boost the literacy and unemployment rates across the country by 45%
Ken, I believe you mean Mississippi will secede from the Union. We all have to do our part if we plan to boost literacy rates.
You are just bad, Jim